My Fable III Rant

| December 21st, 2010

I really enjoyed Fable II. I thought the story was fun, the side projects/mini games were engrossing and the voice acting didn’t annoy me. I actually pre-ordered Fable III, excited by its potential as being an entertaining time waster. Plus Amazon was giving me a $20 credit to do it.

But alas, Fable III was just a big disappointment so I haven’t yet finished the game.

Disappointments in order of discovery:

1. I always play a girl when I can in video games. For some reason I think it draws me into the character more and makes the game more engaging. I’m not sure that is true, but I like outfits and shit so whatever. Fable III had this option so I, of course, took it. This may have been a mistake. It seems obvious to me that not one gamer chick tested the romance portion of the game with a female character because they would have noticed right away that all the fucking men in this world are shorter than you. For me, in a romance mini-game, this is unacceptable.

2. Ugh stupid star trail, just load already. The star trail that is supposed to lead you around the world was made an idiot. I had to count on it to never load correctly the first time.

3. Every time you hit the start button you are brought to this place with a butler. Unfortunately, this butler incessantly tells you to look in the store because there is new merchandise available. So I finally go to the store and see that the “merchandise” is a fucking dog suit. It cost two real dollars, its horrific, and no matter what the butler won’t shut up about it. This is what made me stop playing the game. Listening to an ad every time I press start in a game that I paid $60 for is a sure fire way to piss me off.

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